Andy Barefoot |
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| andy@andybarefoot.com |
Andy Barefoot |
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| andy@andybarefoot.com |
Vote for a Change, the campaign for a referendum on electoral reform, launched a campaign competition today.
Last night MPs voted in favour of a referendum on the UK voting system. However, David Cameron has spoken out against it, so to keep the pressure on they are inviting supporters to modify the infamous David Cameron poster. The best entries will be made into a full size billboard in his Witney constituency.
I've modified my poster generator for them so if you'd like to see your words written large next to Dave's face in his own constituency enter here.
The David Cameron poster generator takes a lot of the effort out of creating your own political poster, but you still need to think of a witty/pithy/rude message to deface the poster with.
I thought I'd remove this last obstacle to communication greatness by letting Malcolm Tucker, sweary spin doctor from The Thick of It, provide the foul-mouthed tirade for you.
A random choice of blue bon-mot is substituted every time you click the "Tuckerise" button so click away. However, be warned. He is a very very rude man and if you don't like naughty words you probably won't like this.
In my introduction (below) to Web 4.78, the amazing new e-phenomenon that is sweeping the bloggernet, I proved via Google my impeccable credentials as leader of this techsplosion.
Well, since then Google has further recognised my outstanding excellence in this field. Search for the term "web 4.78" now and you will see that not only is andybarefoot.com the top result, but the next 4 results also point to me.
Can you afford to be left behind? Is your company still desperately upgrading to Web 3.26? Or, heaven forbid, Web 2.0?? Good God! What are you playing at? Your competitors are pointing at you and laughing. Laughing really hard.
The good news is that you are not too late. Under my expert tutorage you will soon be fine tuning your twategy* and your site will be the toast of 4chan.
So do not delay, contact me today! Whereas my competitor consultants are excruciatingly expensive I am merely extortionate.
* twitter strategy
Good old David Cameron. He's so suave yet so caring. he just wants the best for the country. He says so in his lovely new poster campaign (NSFDuring lunch).
Inspired by these people, who think its fun to deface David's poster with their own words, I have made an app to allow you to do exactly that. I have called it "Make your own David Cameron poster".
Go on, have a go! You know you want to. Make it look like he is saying rude words. Hurr hurr hurr!
I have created my own version of David Cameron's new Conservative poster for the chaps at MyDavidCameron.
Here are some of my favourites other people have submitted.
No one is getting a card from me this year (no change there) so instead enjoy this festive video I have made of me miming to East 17. It's every bit as unenjoyable as it sounds.
If you like playing Top Trumps, but rather than compare fire engines, footballers or the characters from Harry Potter you'd instead prefer to know which of your Facebook friends is most worthy of your respect then this is the Facebook app for you! When it's working (just keep clicking refresh, it will get there in the end...) it provides all the fun of a card game without the need for friends!
I created a website for my friend Mary Young who is far and away the best human and equine masseur I know.
If you have an anxious equine then The Back Lady is the obvious place to go.
Looking for a socially awkward nobody to date? Then may I heartily recommend this quiz I have created on Facebook:
As the internet and its connected technologies become an ever greater part of our social and business lives it is vitally important that you keep up with the latest developments and breakthroughs.
Social networks? Augmented reality? Crowd-sourcing? Brain-jacking? Cloud-squeezing? These are the new web buzz-phrases.
Confused? You don't need to be! Fortunately I am the leading authority on Web 4.78 and can guide you through these exciting times.
You've probaly heard of the web. And you may have even heard of Web 2.0. But what you probably didn't realise is that the web is still evolving! This table explains the different stages in the evolution of the internet:
| Web | The plain old internet. Pages of information and stuff. |
| Ajax and social networking. | |
| Probably some Augmented Reality and such like. | |
| A chip in your brain will tell your i-phone what song you want to hear, what you'd like to eat and who you'd like to sleep with. Your i-phone will automatically download the relevant information from the i-tunes, i-food and i-slut directories. | |
| A chip in other peoples brains will tell you exactly what they think of you and your i-phone. You won't care, you have an i-phone and they will be stuck playing 3-D "snake" on a Motorola or using Android to make basic search engine queries. | |
| Internet nirvana. Your laptop, phone, gaming console and even brain will all be interlinked in one augmented, socially networked, cyber cloud. |
Sound exciting? It does, doesn't it! But whilst you are only now catching up on these exciting new opportunities your competitors are already using them. They are seducing your customers with a virtual wonderland where every offhand comment and complaint they Tweet or post to their Facebook status results in wholesale changes to your competitors product offerings. How can you catch up?
Don't worry. I have been acting as a consultant to these rival firms giving them the tech-savvy that has enabled them to kick your sorry ass over the last few years. However, I can do the same for you too! Contact me to find out about my consulting rates!
If you go to Google (a popular internet "search engine") and look up the word "web" you will see there are 2,980,000,000 results. That is a lot of results! If you were to go to one of those pages you would be reading just 1 page out of the nearly 3 Billion pages explaining what the web is. This means that even the best of these pages still only contains 0.00000003% of the information YOU NEED!
Go to the same search engine and type in "web 4.78" and you will see only 157 results. We can calculate that I have therefore written 0.6% of ALL the information ever produced concerning web 4.78. Convincing proof that I am an expert in this field.
This graph shows, for the top web page on each topic, the percentage of all the information on the topic the page contains. Proving clearly that this page the most important you will ever read on the internet. (figures correct as of 31/08/2009)
I exist elsewhere in hyperspace too:
My lovely facebook page. Befriend me, I'm not fussy when it comes to accepting.
See what I have been twotting. You'll probably regret it.
If it was invented, it was probably invented by an Englishman.
Some Flash experiments from back in the days of Flash 5I have developed a few applications on Facebook:
Find out your ideal life partner from a series of psychological questions designed to unearth your hidden desires.
It's very much like a game of Top Trumps featuring your friends. (Unless you are a lawyer for Top Trumps in which case it is a distinctly different card based game.)